Moving Intervention

On Tuesday, two movers came to my house to pack, load, and ship all of our stuff. When I was a nanny in college I got to watch this in action when the family I worked for moved to France, but I think my movers were a little bit different. First of all, to protect the names of the innocent, we will label these two capable men Brain and Brawn.

Brain had very good people skills. As I watched him carefully wrap my dishes and family photos, he talked with me about his own kids and his busy life. He may have thrown in there once or twice how disappointing his life has turned out to be and though I was tempted to give him a tissue, I wanted the job done so I could move on.

Brawn took more smoke breaks than I think is humanly possible in one day and spent most of his time inside the air conditioned house on his cell phone. He wasn’t so cautious about my worldly goods. After three hours of this hard labor (I sat at my kitchen table drinking lemonade and doing a crossword) the boys looked tired. I asked if I could feed them anything or if they needed a lunch break. They agreed it was a good idea and they headed across the street for some eats. Had I known this would cut their stamina in half, I never would have suggested it.

They returned sluggish and cranky. If my kids had been home with me, we would have had nap time, but I farmed them out so the movers wouldn’t trip on anybody. The movers definitely needed a nap.

This is when it began to get ugly. The sun climbed higher and higher and made the whole situation hotter. It was when Brain started taking inventory that he realized Brawn was packing our air shipment in one HUGE 15 cubic-square-foot box. This included appliances, bedding, food, etc. He didn’t make any distinction, just tossed it in. Brain had explained to me earlier that if something turns out wrong and I make a claim, the company doesn’t pay it----these two professionals do. I’m pretty sure when Brain saw Brawn’s packing job, actual steam came out of his ears. This made his face go red for the rest of the afternoon. There were some under-the-breath curse words exchanged and Brain went out to the truck while Brawn finished the job.

The job got done. I won’t know for two months whether it was done well or not. I thought about sitting down with them and working it out, but hey----I’ve got my own problems.

Pack Mule in a Pretty Dress

All six of us were in a family wedding this weekend. It was special to be a part of the of the bridal party. I’ve had enough experience preparing my family for day-long events to know that you always plan for the inevitable. Adding to it a child who had been vomiting all week, the preparations were extensive.

I began putting things in my SUV early in the morning, adding whatever I saw fit. It didn’t really seem like that much at the time; Two tuxedos, two flower girl dresses, two bridesmaid dresses, everyone’s shoes, make-up, clothes for later, lint roller, hairspray, curly hair spray…okay, that’s just the beginning.

My mom came with me to the hotel to help get everyone ready whilst my beloved was gallivanting with his brother for one last time as a bachelor. She was gracious. Wiping faces when needed and getting the kids distracted with Kung Fu Panda on cable. I don’t think my sister-in-law imagined that she’d be watching Kung Fu Panda in her bridal suite on her wedding day, but I guess that’s what you get when kids are involved.

I opted to take off my glasses for the day---a choice made primarily because I still feel like a nerd in them, and also because the extreme heat made my nose sweat. Now you need to know that they don’t make contact lenses for me because my prescription is too thick. Walking without my glasses is typically a challenge, so walking in heels, a fancy dress-----practically unprecedented.

So I exited the building, one of the area’s most premiere hotels, and took to the street with my four kids, a stroller, five bags, a mother, and enough food to get them all through the day. I actually got checked out (not discreetly) by two guys at the stop light. I was torn between slapping them for considering me and blowing a kiss. I felt proud of the roles I was able to simultaneously conquer. That of pack mule and bridesmaid.