A few weeks ago, my husband had to travel for work. This is a once-a-year situation, but the timing was unfortunate. It was our first week of foster parenting. While I bonded with Number 5 during the day, I missed the element that he adds to our regular lives, like dad-jokes, walking with me in the evening, helping with transportation, and general encouragement.
Our kids have turned out pretty well so far. In front of people, he always gives me credit for doing the child-rearing. I give him credit for teaching me to use the washer/dryer, how to leave dishes in the sink so we can visit a little longer with friends, and how not to take myself too seriously. Last week on Sunday morning, I sat in our custom built library and looked around at our house. I love it. We have been here almost three years. Any other time in our life would mean that we were about to move, but not now. This home is ours for a while. It's strange to feel contented and semi-permanent. It's strange to be crossing off the list of improvements we hoped to make knowing that we may finish them before we leave the house.
It's also strange to consider that our kids will launch from this house. They will leave for college, ricochet back in the summers, leave for the military, maybe even get married (remember, we should be here at least 10 years yet). I made a book for Number 1 with all of the houses she's lived in. I'll print it for each of the kids when their time comes. The last page is a picture of her on her first day at her college dorm. I'm not much of a crier, but that day, I did the moment justice. It was like my heart was bursting and broken at the same time.
We were talking about life the other day and we both agreed that we are in a really good place. As we reflected on the why, we realized it's about dreams. We dreamed we'd have a house one day with a guest room and extra space. We dreamed our teens would come to us with hard questions, big failures, and great successes in equal amounts of trust and love. We dreamed we would send our kids to college. We dreamed we would be Foster parents. We dreamed we would host epic holiday gatherings with family who are like friends and friends who are like family. We dreamed our dining table would be filled with games and laughter.
We are living the dream. It's a cliche, but seriously. Yard work, mortgages, tuition payments, successful jobs, it's all part of it. When we got married 18 years ago, we chose this verse for our invitations; "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I believed it then and I believe it now. Despite the hardships, the losses, the pain, and fear, we've seen firsthand hope and future. We joke about mortality, but if this was it for me, I've lived a good life. I've snorkeled in the Mediterranean, climbed the Eiffel Tower, watched Fourth of July parades and fireworks in DC, enjoyed patio campfires, birthday parties, and so much baseball! At 38, my experiences have been rich. I have loved and been loved. I'm livin' the dream.
