If you like my mullet, I’ll hold your purse

I’ve been meaning to write about this for awhile, but now that Spring is approaching, these truths are more evident than ever. Russians are not like Americans. This, as you may know, is a vast understatement. Just to give you a few examples, the hairclips that the European gymnasts are famous for (you know, the brightly colored and glittery ones) are still worn…by everyone. You can be a 50 year old lady and get away with a pony-tail and hair clips. I think my six year old looks cute in them.

Purses are universal. Men have them, women have them. Or, as I’ve witnessed in many situations--- men carrying their ladies’ D&G bling bags across their own arms. I’m sorry, but it’s hard to take a guy seriously who is carrying a red bag with diamond studs on it. Men’s purses are more suitably colored. They are black and compact. They usually blend in with their jackets.

Jeans. I recently purchased a pair of pants that I thought were jeans. Now I ask myself, “how did that woman get into those?” all the time. The pants are so tight they look painted on. And then I discovered, they are spandex. I don’t know about you, but I have an unwritten rule about wearing spandex anywhere other than at the gym or underneath running shorts. They certainly are not a vital part of my wardrobe. The very same day I bought these as a gag to send home, I saw a lady in the Metro sporting this fashion. Yikes.

And mullets. Though I know the Mohawk has made a recent comeback, in America, I’m pretty sure mullets are reserved for weird, outdated, pictures of barn parties, and untold relatives who reside in the State Pen. I’ve seen some decently attractive guys sport the mullet, carry the purse, and wear jeans tighter than his girlfriend. Thankfully, my husband is a boot-cut, short hair kind of guy. Maybe once in awhile I’d like him to drape my bag over his arm, but only so I can laugh at him.