City Folks in the Country

Memorial Day weekend, we headed out of the city and down to the Virginia/North Carolina border. As we drove south on 95, we could see that all those from DC were getting out while the tourists flocked in on the northbound side. No, thank you. After some meandering on a lesser known highway, we arrived at our friends' house to enjoy a long, rustic weekend.

These friends were neighbors in Moscow. We love spending time with them because we don't have to apologize for using expressions in Russian, our kids have many shared memories, and we just plain like them. Plus, I usually beat everyone at Catan. Hey, it's my blog, I can write it the way I remember it.

My husband grew up on his grandparents' lake. He knows how to fish, hunt, and do most anything with his hands. I was amazed at how quickly everything came back. He sat relaxed in a chair for hours on the dock. Though he travels the world by plane, he was so happy to take a road trip and get away. I haven't seen him that rested in awhile.

The very first day, the kids found a log in the lake. They played on it for hours and then were surprised at the red marks on their bellies. Who needs toys when you've got a log?

For the first night, our friend made a feast complete with borscht (Russian beet soup), khachapuri (Georgian cheese bread), and shashlik (meat skewers). The next day we had blini (crepe/pancakes) for lunch. It felt like home again. I made the all American dinner that night which included fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and apple pie.

Each day, we spent most of our time on the dock watching the kids, holding the new baby, and laughing about old times. One morning I was surprised to find the place next to me on the air mattress was empty. My husband was out the door before sunrise to try his hand at fishing for catfish, as he heard it was plentiful down this way. In a few hours, he and the kids had racked up a bunch using this nasty bait that smelled like sewage. He also discovered that catfish whiskers will whip you when trying to get the hook out.

During the day, my girlfriend and I took the younger kids strawberry picking in North Carolina. It took only a little while to pick 20lbs each! Since I hadn't picked in years, the strawberries tasted all the sweeter.

We grew up in the country. For the time being, we didn't know what we were missing. Namely, concerts, museums, architecture etc. Ignorance truly was bliss. Now our kids live in a somewhere-in-between. We want them to be acquainted with nature and it's joys, but also know how to analyze a painting or remain unfazed when people are nude at the beach (true story). We want both. I don't know how it will end up, but for now, getaways to the country will suffice.

It was time to go home again, back to the city where I can get all kinds of specialty foods, meet interesting people, and don't have to check for ticks daily. However, it was good to get away and remember the simple things in life. For selfish reasons, we hope our friends never leave that place. They've made a vacation spot for us and we are so happy to drive a few hours to see them. At one point, their son expressed that it "felt like a dream" to have his faraway friends close again.

When we got home, my husband cooked up the catfish and I made strawberry jam. Both things were delicious reminders of our time away.

100th Post!! (Reasons I Love Homeschool)

Since this is my 100th post (Wahoo!) I thought I should write about something really life-changing. Although getting married at 19, having four kids in four years, and moving to Russia were all incredible, nothing has impacted my life like home education. I would like to share with you today some of the reasons I love homeschool.

#1 Field trips whenever we want. We avoid the busy crowds and go off-season, Tuesday mornings, and never have to fight to see the exhibit. A few weeks ago our field trip was to Camden Yards to see the Detroit Tigers play the Orioles. Ironically it was "Field Trip Day" at the park and there were kids everywhere. Last week, the Tigers played in Cleveland and we watched the game on TV right after lunch. A little motivation to get done early always helps.

#2 We skip the stuff we know and move on to stuff we don't. This year, we avoided lots of the reading parts of the Science books. We went right on to the experiments. Yesterday the kids saw water snakes in the creek and studied them. They choose to watch documentaries in their free time. We got our standardized test scores back last week and they were all well above average in the Science department. Whatever we're doing, it's obviously working.

#3 Deep conversations at random times. Last week the kids got into a lively conversation with my husband about the Flat Earth Society. They discussed Columbus, astronauts' view from the moon, and other valid points. I sat back and observed. No one was out to prove anything, but they were able to use critical thinking to determine what they believe. A week later, they're still asking about it. This holds true for their faith as well. We expect them to know why they believe what they do, not just spoon feed it and make robots.

#4 Philosophy and Religion. This brings me to my next point. We discuss philosophy and religion all day long. We covered brief overviews of Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Native American religions, and many others. I want them to know what's out there and learn to make friends with people of all faiths. I acknowledge that homeschool allows me to present to them the Gospel of Jesus Christ on a regular basis and its effects on our family.

#5 Reading aloud This school year our family read 38 novels aloud as well as an Encyclopedia, history books, and the Bible. I don't lay in bed wishing I had read to the kids more. It just happens naturally, all day long. We read history, biographies, historical fiction, regular fiction. We read it. I know my kids know the sound of my voice. When I'm gone, maybe they'll remember this sacred time.

You may be thinking at this point, "Yeah, but these are all benefits to the kids. How has it impacted you?"

Well let me tell you.

#6 I have learned more history this year than all of my previous education combined. Because we are studying Ancient and American history, I learned so much about things I never read before. Today we learned about Nikita Krustchev. I visited his grave site last year in Moscow but I didn't know who he was. I do now. and my kids know. We read an entire Encyclopedia on American History. When would I choose to do that in my leisure time?

#7 Instant gratification. Last week there was a situation where I was explaining the conquests of Alexander the Great. My third grader said, "It's kind of like Putin. He has the biggest country in the world, but he wants that little tiny bit (Crimea). I guess things haven't changed." I get to be front and center when the kids "get it". I go to sleep at night knowing they learned something today and that I taught them. It may be an unpaid job, but on days like that, it feels like I got a raise.

#7 Flexible schedule. We always complete 180 days (36 weeks of school). The way we do it is entirely up to me. Sometimes we're feeling aggressive and we work through two weeks of material in one week. Sometimes we're feeling lazy and we take a week off. We always start in early August. We vacation in September. We take Winter and Spring breaks when it works for us. My husband is gone three weeks a month. When he's home, we don't work as hard. We enjoy him.

#8 I get to spend so much time with my kids. I don't think I'm better than you. I don't think you're better than me. I homeschool for my own reasons and you may send your kids to whichever school for your own reasons. Either way, we have the right to choose what we think is best for our kids. I'm glad to stand on my soapbox and explain my personal mission statement, but for now, I'm glad I get to be with my kids. I love them. Some days they make me crazy, but they're still my favorite people. Who better to teach them than me?

#9 The public library. This is my first experience homeschooling in America. The public library is the jackpot! Each week I pick up picture books about whatever topic we are covering that week (Civil War, Cleopatra, The Iron Curtain). I feel empowered. They feel empowered. It's like an energy shake for your social brain. A little better than FB I think.

#10 My kids actually like each other Most people say to me, "I could never homeschool. My kids would drive me crazy!" or "My kids can't stand each other." Because my kids are together all the time, they actually know how to get along. They have learned to cope with one who is getting cranky and how to help somebody feel better who was accidentally left out. It's a true honor to be around such sweet kids throughout the day, every day. After all, if I don't like them, why should I expect other people to?

To sum it up, homeschool makes us a strong family. I could write a million things more, but these are just the first that came to mind. At some point in my life I probably uttered the words, "I will never homeschool", but like most things, our refusal to try something usually ends up in facing it head on. Once I was a victim homeschooler. Now I do it by choice.

Reverse Culture Shock

Let me give you a brief education on culture shock. There are usually four phases: Honeymoon, hostility, negotiation (readjustment), and home. Within a household of six individual people, the phases come at different intensities and paces. The last time we went through this, my husband was in hostility stage and I was in the honeymoon phase. I was trying to convince him we could order pizza in a totally unknown language and make the best of it. He rode his bicycle two miles in -5F to pick up the pizza himself. Though his beard was frozen, he had warm pizza.

Now we have experienced reverse culture shock. Coming back to the US, the honeymoon phase was good. Going to places like Target on a Saturday night was like a salve for the soul.

Customer service is pretty good here and I cannot get over the ultra friendliness of everyone. Whether it's fake or real doesn't matter. They seem to care about my cart of stuff. I've noticed my kids smiling a lot. They're singing in the stores again. In Russia we maintained the indifferent face everywhere we went. They are also enjoying wearing jackets and hoodies on warmer days instead of being forced to wear hats, scarves, and full snowsuits. My apartment felt huge, I loved hopping in the car to go anywhere, and I couldn't wait to go see the sights in DC.

We got our shipment, our apartment feels smaller (even after THREE trips to Goodwill), and I am annoyed having to drive certain places. Isn't there a bus that goes there?

After six months of being in the US, I am still utterly shocked at how loud patrons maintain their volume. We went out for dinner at Johnny Rockets for Valentine's Day with the kids. The lady behind us belted out a blast laugh every few minutes. Number 2 kept jumping out of his seat and eventually quit eating because he was afraid he would choke after such surprise. It seems loud everywhere, even the library.

On the up side, I bought all beef hot-dogs and Kona beer at my local supermarket last night. And Twizzlers, Bugles, and Hazelnut Creamer. Oh, and that Breyer's Ice Cream and the HoHo's.
I went to the Weanie Beanie and had a Washington DC special half-smoke.

I was reading a study today that said some are unable to assimilate into their host culture and end up adopting ghetto mentality. This means they find people who are similar to them in culture, experience, and memory. Without even realizing it, we've done that. Lots of people around here have lived overseas, packed up their whole lives, and whisked their families away for the adventure. Many have come back, managed to begin again, and still always feel out of place. We find these types of people at church, the supermarket, the library, and even at the local parks.

We are living among our peers. I find that I naturally gravitate toward those military spouses whose husbands are deployed. I find friends in single parents where I don't have to justify that my spouse is gone 70% of the time. I find friends in people whose demographics are starkly different from mine. The fact is, I've found people. People who 'get' me. People who are willing to invest in a relationship whether it's two months or two years.

This summer, some of my favorite friends from everywhere will stop by. We'll be together again, even if it's just for a short time. We'll enjoy baseball, beer, and memories of days past. And if I missed you this time around, I'll see you before too long. People like us can't stay away.

Butter is Love

My husband is out of the country 60% of the time. This leaves me with lots of time to watch my favorite movies, drink my favorite wine, and self analyze.

Those who know me well, know that I bake with real, unsalted butter. Always have. Always will. I also like to bake a lot. Cookies, pies, coffee cakes, whatever. For the last few months, I haven't enjoyed baking. My oven has seen little action and my kids forgot how to help in the kitchen. I was in a funk.

So, what comes first, the neighbor or the baked goods?

I say this because I recently made a friend who lives in my building. Let me be clear. She's exactly what I needed! We both love our label-makers, we homeschool our kids, we like alone time and each other. She has girls who play with my girls and everybody wins. After our first couple of visits, without even thinking about it, I gravitated toward my kitchen. I whipped up some cookie bars and some cake. I found myself running down the stairs to her place in my apron so she could have cookies fresh out of the oven.

I've always said that butter is love. I show my love for others with baked goods. When I lived in rural Michigan, I baked for my friend close-by. The guys at the feed mill next door always got slabs of banana bread or cookies. When I moved to Moscow, it was for the older couples in our neighborhood, and the single guys who never got homemade anything. When I moved again in Moscow, it was for the Marines and for my favorite neighbor downstairs. She was, quite possibly, my biggest fan. I knew it, she knew it. It worked.

Without even noticing it, I didn't bake in DC because I didn't have somebody with whom to share. Someone accused me once of trying to fatten up those around me with goodies so I look better. If that means touching the lives of others using real butter, then I'm guilty.

Where to get Greek food and other tips...

I have emerged from the winter. From moving. From feeling lonely. In celebration of my bliss, I took care of myself today. First I went and splurged on a curtain I wanted. I used a 20% off coupon at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I know this sounds common place but it has taken me two months to acquire such a valuable piece of paper. After the curtain, I went tanning. Judge what you may. I have Psoriasis and my skin has not seen the sun in a few months which causes me pain. I'm not an old lady so I won't start telling you about my medical ailments, but the sun helps, even if it is in a box.

As I walked back to my car I passed a salon. Not just a standard place where I would take my kids. A real, fancy salon. I stopped in, asked if there was a haircut available and took the first chair. In Washington DC, so many young professionals are the most well-kept people I've ever seen. I desire to maintain my eclectic clothing style, but my hair isn't trendy in any standard. It was time.

The stylist was clearly European and asked me about my last cut. I told him it was in October. He visibly cringed. I remembered later that it was actually in December, but that whole month is muddled in my mind. Either way, we are talking about five to seven months of a lack of maintenance. My kids have each had three cuts since then. Why the delay? Why do mothers self-sacrifice all the time? At least I've been to the dentist, right?

Anyway, I asked him about his nationality. He explained that he is Lebanese Greek and has lived in the US for 22 years. Excited about getting an opinion on authentic Greek food, he suggested a few local restaurants. Then, the icing on the cake.

"For authentic Greek food, there is Taverna in Old Town Alexandria. People who own are from island of Crete."

"Excellent!" I replied. He went on.

"For the family, there is this wonderful restaurant. Do you know it? It is called 'Olive Garden'! For a small price of meals they bring you large jar of salad---for free! My kids don't eat it so there's so much salad for my wife and me. And sticks made of bread, so good!"

At this point, when I realized he was talking about THE Olive Garden, I had to contain my giggles. He told me of his travels to Paris, Athens, and large cities in the US. Still, he repeated his recommendation for this American/Italian franchise. Right before I left he threw in a shout-out for Outback Steakhouse, if you like that sort of place.

He firmly suggested that I not wait as long next time to have my hair trimmed. Maybe two months. Maybe when I see him again I will suggest Applebee's or TGIFridays.

My Best Friend

Perhaps my newest theme is to brag up the cool people in my life. It's my husband's turn. As you well know, we recently moved back to the US. Our 13th wedding anniversary was coming up in April and he told me to block out the weekend for some plans he had made. I imagined a concert maybe, an expensive restaurant, a nice hotel for one night. Nope. None of those things. He blew this one out of the water.

First he flew his mom down from Michigan so she could stay with the kids. This meant that my kids were overjoyed for us to walk out the door. He flew us to Seattle, Washington where we honeymooned many years before. I imagine you're wondering why we went there. Why not Jamaica? Florida? or the ever common Traverse City? Here's why. Even then, we had a sense of adventure. We wanted to do something new. Though we were only 19 years old, we wanted to create a unique experience together.

I grew up on the West Coast and I would tell him about the ocean and the way the mountains roll. Somewhere in a conversation we decided that Seattle was the perfect spot. His first ride on a plane was on that Spring day in 2001 just hours after we said our vows. Long before TSA check-points, before 9/11. We experienced rough air and he had a death grip on my arm. I tried to calm the nerves of my husband, hoping he would make it to our honeymoon destination with me. He did and now 13 years later, he travels 50% of the time, all over the world for his job. Monday he will begin a round-the-world tour bringing him to four countries on three continents in three weeks.

I am so flattered that he chose to spend his Stateside time with me on an airplane to a memorable location.

He had planned out the bus route from the Sea/Tac airport to our hotel and every possible detail in between. But he still had surprises. On the day of our anniversary, he surprised me again. we rented a car and drove to a resort to get a glimpse of Mt. Rainier. The ride up the gondola was beautiful and the weather was in our favor.


We spent most of our days roaming around town to all our favorite stops like Ivar's Seafood and Chowder and Pike Place Market.



We also went up the Space Needle with our Master and Mistress of Ceremonies who just happen to live in Seattle now. Crazy small world. Back in the day, it was the tallest thing we'd ever seen. Now it pales to the Eiffel tower in Paris, Hotel Ukraine in Moscow, and the Canton Tower in GuangZhou, China. It's still special in its own way.

But possibly the best surprise came on the last day. We rode a train to the airport to leave our luggage for the day, then rode it back into town for the Mariner's Season Opener. I haven't been to a major league game in years and to be there with my favorite person, in such a special place was absolutely stunning. He bought the tickets months ago and we were just above the first base line. I remembered quickly how to yell at the umps, cheer on the batter for a "good=eye" and hoot at a stolen base. I forgot how much I missed American baseball (not to mention the kraut covered dogs and 7th inning stretch sing-along).




When he gets back in a few weeks, we are going to see the Detroit Tigers play Baltimore. Immediately after the game, we caught the midnight flight back home. I'm glad I have a husband who knows how to treat his best friend and make new memories that will last a few more years.

My Daddy always said...

It has been my personal experience that distance causes a nostalgic endearing toward one's parents. I'm sure my kids will repeat this word-for-word later in their lives and I'm okay with that. Here's my point, we don't realize the impact of our parents until we are far away and find ourselves quoting them, doing something the way they taught, or copy-cat parenting.

A few weeks ago my sister came to visit. While she was anxious for a break from her own busy routine, I made it clear that she would be painting, sorting, shopping, and generally allowing me to boss her around (which is fun because she is older and has bossed me for YEARS!) I also took her to the National Mall and for pedis, so we're even.

In the past, my husband and I loved to tackle painting projects. Shortly after starting, we wanted to tackle each other, not at all in a romantic way, more like in a "you don't know a stinkin' thing about anything" kind of way. The solution was easy. Because my building contractor dad taught me, I know the proper way to paint. Therefore, I simply painted while hubby was at work. Then the job was done and everyone lived to enjoy it.

When my sister and I began taping the trim, we realized there would be no fights this time. We both did it the "right" way. The job was fun and easy. We laughed when Number 2 walked into the room with an injury and we quickly said, "It'll feel better when it quits hurting" a famous line of my father's. I used to joke that my arm could be falling off my body and my dad would tell me to "walk it off." When I accidentally smudged the ceiling with the paintbrush, I threw out a flippant "dog-gone-it!" Throughout the weekend we assembled furniture, hung pictures, and enjoyed work well done.

Today, I thought of my dad again. My favorite quote of his is: "Some people think they're kids are great, but mine really are." I loved that line because he meant it. I love it also because I feel the same way about the people in my home who share my name.

A while back we had to drop off a package at the post office. Number 2 quickly volunteered to run it inside. I saw him hustle to the door and I saw him politely waiting in line. While I waited in my vehicle, an elderly man came up to my window and motioned for me to open it. He said to me, "I saw a boy walk in carrying a package. Is he yours?"

From my experience in Russia, I felt like I was in for a verbal beating about the ills of allowing kids to go somewhere alone. I was dead wrong.

"Yeah, what of it?" I said
"What of it? Well let me tell you. In my 88 years of life, I have never been treated so respectfully by a young man. He opened the door for me, smiled at me, and let me get in line first. What a thoughtful, special young man. Will you tell him, please, to be a doctor? We need good people in the world like him to be doctors."

Needless to say, I tearfully accepted his praise, and passed it onto my son.

This week my kids are spending their Spring Break doing a series of Service Projects within DC. They loaded up clothes to get dirty, shovels, work gloves, and smiles on their faces. I'm so proud. Sure they get in occasional spats and sometimes don't shower as often as they should, but altogether, they are wonderful kids.

I hope the sayings I pass onto my kids are as valuable. Maybe not, "Is there any purpose to this story?" or "Don't leave the door open!" but maybe a little bit more "Prefer your siblings to others" and "Do it because it's the right thing to do."