What I thought I wanted

It's three o'clock in the morning. I wish I was suffering from jet lag, but I'm not. I've been in the States for six weeks, with two more to go before I return to my home in Russia. The doctors visits are almost wrapped up, the shopping list is almost complete, and my kids are thoroughly ready to return.

I apologize for the absence. I wanted to "vacate" while I was here and just enjoy the moments. There have been plenty of good ones to cherish. While I was visiting with some friends this weekend, one commented to me, "you probably haven't written because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or say something that questions your loyalty to your home." WOW! After hearing it said out loud, I determined that was perhaps the very reason.

So back to the title. One of my favorite songs has the lyrics "what I thought I wanted, what I got instead..."

I feel this way because I had an idea of how this trip was going to turn out and it seems so completely opposite, yet good. Things with the kids came up, things with family came up, and friends often went above and beyond to help me out. I thought I wanted a working vacation, but instead I haven't touched the schoolbooks at all. There's just been no time. I thought I wanted time and space for myself, but it's been a challenge to be alone.

I am just writing this to tell you all that I'm still out here. I'm okay. Each day has its joys and disappointments, but this will soon be a memory. I've got pictures to prove I was here and yet I don't feel my own presence. I guess this is what you get at 3am. Stop by in a few weeks and I'll give you the real scoop.

Crazy Dinner

We are packing boxes and suitcases getting ready to move and go on vacation for two months. Although I am an organized, scheduled, calendar-loving doobie, I'm a little overwhelmed. So my good friend invited us over for dinner. Not just any dinner. A crazy dinner.
The food was normal. In fact, it was delicious! So what made it crazy? The tableware. Instead of using plates, forks, spoons, and cups we used random utensils and containers. Each person drew numbers and letters out of a hat and then chose the corresponding item. It was an absolute riot! Here are some pics to help you out. This is Number 2 eating on a diaper wipe container with a potato-masher and drinking from a dosage cup. I was surprised at how well he managed to scoop up pudding and pasta with that thing.

There were challenges involved. I felt like a big winner because I got a 9x13 cake pan, a rice paddle, and a baby teacup. None of my food was touching and I could fit quite a lot into my mouth at once. Unlike the hostess who got corn cob holders, a small lid, and a teapot.

In the second picture, Number 1 overcame the challenge of how to fit a spatula into a muffin tin, but she just used the handle. Using a sippy cup was kind of a blow for this young lady, but she was thankful anyway. With adults at one table and kids at the other, I couldn't tell who was having more fun. When we had to correct or discipline the kids, it was hard to take my host seriously as he ate with a slotted spoon out of a Bundt pan drinking from a pink baby bottle.

Although Number 3 was devastated she did not get to drink out of the honey bear, she made good use of the pitcher, especially sitting next to her brother with the dosage cup. While she filled that thing full of grape soda, he took little shots of carbonated beverages and refilled about 20 times.
On nights like these, I can't imagine my life without Russia. When would I have ever met these wonderful, creative people? When would we have opportunity to share our lives on a daily basis irregardless of schedules and preferences? Please don't mistake me. When I come to your house for a visit, plates and forks will be just fine. I'll just be glad I'm there.

Think like a Russian

So my husband is an epic story-teller. No, I mean it. Apparently something in his Irish roots make his hands flail and his volume increase when there's an event to re-tell. His most recent tale is worth sharing.

I think I mentioned that our car was in the shop. What this meant for us for the last few months was that we rode buses, cabs, and marshrutkas (basically van shuttles; quality varies)and sometimes walked. I don't balk at the tab-I pay the cab. It is a good 45 minute walk from the nearest metro to our "house in the country." He walks. But then he had a good idea. He could ride his bike into the metro in the morning, chain it up, remove the front tire, and ride back home at night. This seemed like it made good sense. Until he arrived that evening to find his bike gone. I'm not talking about a Huffy. This is a bike worth around roughly $600. Kind of a bummer.

He paid the piper (or cabdriver) that evening and came home with smoke fuming out of his ears. I didn't blame him. I didn't see any gaps in his logic. As he mulled it over in his mind, he realized that Russians don't keep trash. They pick it up. In fact, there are thousands of city workers whose exact job is to pick up trash. This is why we can readily litter anywhere in the city because someone will pick it up. For the record, I am not condoning or encouraging this behavior, just simply reporting truth.

Despite the bike chain, he figured if they saw the tire missing, they would assume it was broken. If it was broken, nobody would come back to claim it. If nobody came back to claim it, it was free game or trash.

The next day he took a friend to translate for him and they walked into a shop nearby where the bike was parked. The guards and receptionists were helpful enough and agreed to watch the security footage and call some of the groundskeepers. After several phone calls and explanations, they opened a closet and there was his bike! How crazy is that? Once they returned it to him, they chastised him for removing the wheel. Obviously, a bad idea in Russia. Next time, leave the whole bike so somebody doesn't mistake it for trash.

I thought of this little anecdote because I went grocery shopping yesterday. As I wandered through the aisles, I realized that shopping here has become easier for me because I just think like a Russian. Where are granola bars? By the flour, of course. What about the pretzels? Those aren't crackers so they go in the beer aisle. And my most recent favorite of all; Band-Aids. They aren't by cotton balls or hand sanitizer. I am proud to say I walked right up to them surrounded by condoms and tampons. I'm not sure I'll ever understand why exactly, but at least I found them.

You like it, we make it.

So today I took a new friend shopping at the supermarket. After my car being out of order for three months, I have it back and I was ready to assist a new-comer. We arrived at the store this morning to discover new ways to make old recipes.

As we meandered through the aisles, she would ask me things like, "Where do you get such-and-such?"

"We make it," I would simply say.

A few minutes later she would again repeat, "Where can I get..." and I would again calmly reply, "we make it."

I realized that I sounded like an I've-been-here-two-years-and-know-everything type of person, but it's true. If you like it, we make it. When I first moved here, I homemade chili. That's about it. I have always been a cookie aficionado, but meals were somewhat hard to execute. Now I make things beginning with a roux (that's a French word for butter/flour) including cream soups. I make my own bread, sorbet, and hummus. I don't balk at making Greek, Indian, or Asian food. My heart skips a beat when I think of my food processor, my rice cooker, or my crock-pot. Who knew?

So today, in the spirit of making things from scratch, I tried making soft pretzels. Oh-my-word! They were sooooo delicious. I invited an old friend to come enjoy them with me because she too appreciates the toil of our home cooking.

Though I still prefer things that come fresh from the farm, I found the complimentary side to the pretzels was melted Velveeta, which has no natural origin at all. I guess there are some things that can't be made.

I think both.

So the fact of the matter is that we're moving...and staying here. We are moving out of our gated, international community with a beach, big yards, and a fabulous sports center. We're moving away from friends, but we're moving to new ones.

We are relocating to the compound in the city, this city. What this means for us is that, on average, we will get 20 hours more per week of Husband/Dad time. He'll sleep in until right before work, come home to see us at lunch, and walk across the way after he punches out at five. For our family, this is a huge improvement.

There are nay-sayers on both sides of the fence. People out here say, "Why would you ever want to live in the city?" People in the city say, "What could possibly be good about your gated community?" I am a lemonade out of lemons type of person. I can find the good parts of either location. Did I mention we are going from a 3 bed, 2 bath to something twice the size complete with room for a classroom? Well, that's a perk in my sight. Not to mention that we'll be walking distance from a metro, close to theaters, music halls, parks, and lots of fun venues. We are goers. With everything so close, now we can really go where we want and not worry about catching the bus home or getting a legitimate cab at night.

Our family has thrived here. Though we've made meaningful relationships and kept flowers alive, we're ready for some more adventure. Some day, when I look back on my time in Moscow, if people ask me which location was my favorite, I hope I answer, "Both." (view from my current back window)

Garage Sale

When I lived in America, I often watched my mom and sisters unravel the science of yard-sales. Your signs have to be the right color, with proper arrows, placed on the appropriate corners. You must operate on the best days; Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. You must have everything priced properly and organized into categories or people won't buy.

Like most things in Russia, yard sales are done a little differently. In the international community in which I live, it is common for people to come and go. However, this summer there seems to be an influx of people leaving. Whether they or the company are paying for the move, they realize there is just too much stuff to put into boxes. Bring on the garages full of random goodies!

So here are some new rules. Put the signs up whenever you want, including the day of the sale. The signs can be handwritten, printed, vague, or concise. Just because the starting time is listed doesn't mean you have to be ready to sell by then. Bus stops are the prime locations for fliers. Nannies, seasonal workers, and the non-corporate group actually use buses. (There is no criticism here. I use the bus stops all the time as well).

Don't price your stuff. Run around like a crazy person while 50 Filipinos are asking prices and then offering you ten percent of said price. When you are being asked questions, yell to your spouse/child/friend in at least two languages. Then respond to the questions in whatever language you choose, even if the person asking the questions doesn't speak that language.

I hope you get the idea. I am having a garage sale of my own tomorrow. I haven't got much, but I want to experience the popularity of people flocking to my garage. I didn't price anything. That kind of recklessness wasn't possible for me before I lived here. Who knows what could happen next.

Ready to Move...or not.

Today my housekeeper was laughing at me because I was organizing my spices. You should be impressed that they are NOT in alphabetical order (like most things in my house) but instead they are organized by shape of container, material of the lid, and oh, yikes. Maybe I am a little loco.

Anyway, the school year is finished. Standardized testing has been done.

So I have begun cleaning the closets. This entails sorting clothes that no longer fit, throwing out old textbooks (this hurts--I admit), and finding new places for old things. We are at a strange crossroads in our life and the house shows it.

This is our first time overseas. It's our first time doing contract work. In August, we could simply pack up, go home, and game over. Or.... it's a big word.

A few weeks ago we planted some perennials in the front of the kitchen window. I've never been able to keep flowers alive. My boast is that I keep kids alive and that is sufficient. Somehow, I am nurturing a Spider plant in a pot and the flowers outside are looking prettier every day.

Today we hung a bulletin board in the classroom (really a twist on the dining room) that is about 3ft by 5 ft. In some ways I feel like we're finally moved in and yet may be preparing to move out. Who knows?

I'm not alone. Every one of my ex-pat friends deal with the same feelings on a yearly basis. Will we stay? Will we go? Will we get a new job? Better pay? What will people think?

So, we've committed to stay another year. We reluctantly told the kids and they....cheered and screamed. Not exactly the response I was expecting, but I guess they like it here better than I thought.

I'll write more soon. We've been on summer break and I've been busy quilting, reading, and gathering house plants from people leaving. It's official. I have houseplants. I'm staying for a bit. But of course, my life motto: Write your life in pencil and carry a big eraser. I'm always ready if it changes.