In my past blogs, to protect the identity of my own kids, I've called them 1, 2, 3, and 4. Some of you know them by name, but I always thought it was a good practice anyway. I will use the same method for our Foster placements. Number 5 moved in yesterday. She's 17. I can't begin to explain the thoughts and feelings that run through my mind. It's like pregnancy in ways, both exciting and terrifying. I don't know what to expect. I don't know if I'm prepared. I don't know if I'll mess her up. But that's the same for every parent, right?
In August, after a long series of failed medical treatments for a skin problem, I decided to go dairy free. I very quickly recognized that 80% of my diet was dairy. Milk with breakfast, half & half in my coffee, yogurt and granola for a snack, cheese at lunch time, you get the idea. Quitting dairy for me was very challenging, but I've learned to get creative and how to curb cravings.
When we sat down with 5's case manager yesterday, we weren't aware she was allergic to milk. I said, "I eat dairy free, so this shouldn't be too difficult." She smiled, giggled, and took a deep breath. I thought I was nervous, but I can't imagine how she must have felt.
During the weekend, we were also placed with a 16 year-old girl, 6. She will only stay until Monday. Georgia has a really good program for respite care for Foster parents to provide support if an emergency arises. We were the best option for now.
We were all helping to unpack 5's stuff in her room. I watched as these young ladies compared their lives, stories, and heartaches. They showed each other their special bears, the kind of stuffed animals we would try to pry away from our kids before they were six. It required some focus for me to hear these things and not burst into tears. At one point, 6 said to 5, "I think you'll be really happy here. I'm happy for you."
In this process, I can also feel the support of those who are behind us. It was in the weighted blanket that 6 used last night to sleep. The ham/swiss rolls I made for breakfast for the family. The reminders of prayers and love. We have embarked on a dangerous journey. Our clothes are clean, our shoes neat and dry, and our backpack carefully packed. But I'm no fool, and I know the deeper in we go, the more treacherous it may become. I might mess up, but I've got to try.
This is so sweet and so sad...hope everything is going good with all the kids hopefully you back on and start posting when you get home love reading these
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