Birthday Reflection

It was my birthday last week. I won't disclose which one or on what day, but it was important. As always, I started my early morning with a couple cups of coffee. I thought about where I was a few years ago, at 29, living in my parents' basement, waiting for paperwork to clear so the kids and I could join my husband in Russia. We were broke, scared, and desperate. Enough that we would move far, far away with four small children.

It made me think of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken." I hope right now you can read this out loud, slowly. Take it in.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

And that has made all the difference. I'm not the person I was when I left. I remember her, but she is a minuscule piece of what I am now. The grit and endurance she undertook, the sheer guts to move away from everything familiar, made me alive. When I recall birthdays past, I have glimpses of the happiest moments of my life. The time my husband threw me a party filled with my favorite things and my favorite people in the country air. The small, private gatherings of our closest friends in a crowded Russian cafe. Being around a friend's kitchen table with European goodies and my favorite Czech beer. Homemade cakes with matches for candles.

The strange thing about getting older is that I don't feel it as much as I see it around me. With one kid in college and another one looking, the time moves like a flashback movie scene. On Friday, our final approval for Foster Care came through. We will get placements in the next couple of weeks. I also re-applied to college and will begin in January as a transfer student at the University of North Georgia. Time continues and the opportunity to choose a road less traveled constantly presents itself. I choose the uphill climb because I know that the views are exceptional and worth the sweat.

The view from the top of Amicalola Falls, Dawsonville, Georgia.